Anger Management

Disengage from negative self-expression

Home|Areas of Focus|Behavioral|Anger Management

Understanding Anger

Anger is a natural adaptive response to threats designed as a mechanism for protecting and defending ourselves and those we care about. It is a powerful, and useful tool— when appropriately managed. Although anger is a natural part of life, unfortunately, our culture doesn’t teach us healthy ways of expressing our feelings, especially anger. And so, the issue is not anger itself, but how we learned to express it, and in turn, the challenge is to learn how to express anger in a positive way. 

There is a truth in anger that is often lost in the explosion of emotion that accompanies it. Many times, that ‘truth’ is in some way connected to a painful past memory of feeling hurt, neglected, abandoned, or abused. And it is this pain that fuels the anger most people feel. Unresolved anger causes us to react to everyday stressors in an elevated way. Others seemingly always know how to ‘push our buttons,’ Feelings of frustration, annoyance, hurt, shame, helplessness, or disappointment may arise frequently, followed by quick, often loud or aggressive reactions. Your anger may even sometimes surprise you as you come face to face with a part of yourself that acts out of control. And, later there are ‘messes’ to clean up: hurt feelings, damaged relationships, or even destroyed property. What may feel like simply expressing yourself can cause others to shut down, turn away, or become aggressive in return. Unresolved anger can also turn inward, and we may find ourselves closing off from others, harshly criticizing ourselves, or even self-harming.

To understand this behavior, we must examine our childhood experiences with it. As children many of us were taught to repress our negative feelings, and were not granted the opportunity to speak up for ourselves, and even if we did, were never really heard or given appropriate guidance to deal with our feelings. Our parents and other caregivers failed to model or teach healthy ways of expressing emotions. Many well-intended, loving parents simply did not learn these skills themselves and so, unintentionally passed the burdens of both carrying unresolved anger and unhealthy expression, onto their own children as a result.

Healing Happens Here

STAR Can Help

At STAR, we teach healthy ways to harness negative emotions and energy and to how to appropriately express them— without leaving a mess behind. You’ll learn how to use your feelings to gain greater empowerment in order to heal yourself and repair your relationships. By uncovering the original wounds that created the destructive, emotional patterns that have dominated your life, you can reclaim the repressed parts of yourself hidden due to a lack of understanding and ability to effectively cope with negative and abusive situations. 

In the safe, supportive environment that STAR provides, you’ll find that self-expression occurs naturally, affording a freedom to rediscover your innate ability to play, to grow, and to experience a genuine compassion for yourself and others. Here you can disengage from rage and find forgiveness and self-love.

Call us today or schedule a no-obligation consultation with one of our staff members

Schedule Online

“I’ll say it… I was a jerk to almost everyone in my life. I didn’t realize that I developed this defense mechanism to protect the wounded parts of myself. I left a lot of emotional ‘baggage’ out there in the desert. Most importantly, the baggage that caused me to be mean spirited and highly intolerant of others. My family is grateful, but none more grateful than me.”

“STAR is invaluable for those that participate at 110%, who are prepared to try everything even though they may be reluctant, and who are willing to honestly participate in the process.”

“STAR is invaluable for those that participate at 110%, who are prepared to try everything even though they may be reluctant, and who are willing to honestly participate in the process.”

“STAR was the best therapeutic process I have ever been to. It stripped away years of crusty layers of pretended indifference to reveal my repeated cycles of anger, abandonment, fear, and despair. This experience is leading me towards the happiness and sense of peace I’ve always yearned for. It’s all up to me now, not the ghosts of my past.”