Grief and loss are a normal part of living life. We all go through many losses over our lifespan. Our culture does not support our grief expression or our mourning of our deep losses. That is one reason why I started our Grief Group at Star over 15 years ago. It was really important to me that we create a loving, supportive, safe space for participants attending Star to be able to express their grief and mourn their losses. Through the years I have witnessed many participants’ deep grief and mourning and it has been very healing and profound for me. It has been a deep privilege to be present for their grief expression.
Many of you know that my son, Matt was killed by a hit and run driver 20 years ago. He was only 22 years old and it was such a huge trauma that I did not want to continue to live without him. But, I had a lot of wonderful, loving, support and therapy, and thus I was able to process through the stages of grief and come to a semblance of acceptance. But their is never any “Getting over it”! It has become a deep part of me and I never want to forget or stop talking about him. I want people to know him, through me.
So, I will never “be over it”, as some people think that is how it should be. My love for him grows deeper every day and that is something that death cannot take away. I hope as you read our newsletter you will have a reverence for your own deep losses and take time to express it by perhaps lighting a candle or writing a letter or just allowing yourself to cry.
Clinical Director, STAR Foundation